SCOTUS Bashing

It's been a while since I posted anything, mostly because life has kind of gotten in the way of me getting worked up about inconsequential bullshit. The family drama has thankfully come to a plateau, but I'm still stressed out as hell about two decisions I still need to make (London or Hamburg in the Fall, Honolulu or San Francisco next spring) and about the future in general (am I trying to position myself to stay relevant in the game or am I gonna try this whole 'lawyer thing' out for a while)? Not drinking for the past month isnt helping either. In any case, yah, lots on my mind, but thankfully finals is coming up and will have me so preoccupied I won't have the opportunity to freak out about all the other crap. Yay law school.

So, that brings me to todays verbal smack down, directly related to law school induced stress. I decided to write my paper for Land Use on the implications that OHA v. Hawaii could have on land use in the state. The Supreme Court granted cert and heard oral arguments about a month ago, so I figured that, since their normal turn around is like 4 months, I could totally write a speculative paper about the merits. Instead, those fuckers not only decided to be all productive and deliver an opinion over the course of three weeks, they also decided to resolve the case on grounds completely different from anything that I mentioned. As such, this rant is dedicated to SCOTUS.

Dear Supreme Court of the United States,

Kindly go fuck yourself. Does someone there have a chart somewhere in your giant obstinate offices tracking ways that you can personally fuck up my legal education? I mean, ONE MONTH to come to a decision? Given it was unanimous (since apparently you hate native Hawaiians this was an easy decision, remember Rice? Yah, me too), but still, couldnt you have at least pretended to dwell on the merits of the issue? Couldn't you at least pretend to be sympathetic to the plaintiff? Couldn't you at least pretend that you didn't disdain the Hawaii Supreme Court as being a couple of bleeding heart commies? I guess that was too much to ask. Well, thanks to your over productivity, my paper is now moot. Luckily, as a flaw in your plan, my professor doesnt give a shit about what you ass bags had to say and is letting me turn in my paper not withstanding your jurisprudential diarrhea.

Anyway, SCOTUS (do you mind if I call you SCOTUS?), you have taught me a lesson, you have taught me to procrastinate on future legal projects so as to avoid running afoul of you assholes. Now, don't get me wrong SCOTUS, we have had some good times together. The 50th Anniversary of Brown reminded me why I had decided to go to law school. Roe v. Wade has inspired the name of my first born son (Wade Vincent Rowe). Scalia's diatribe about fucking goats in Lawrence and exposition on the superiority of Webster's Second as opposed to Webster's Third as a dictionary provided for some good laughs on cold nights in la biblioteca. And Justice Thomas forever serves as a warning and reminder to all of us that, just because you are brilliant and have the most selective legal job in the world does not mean you are not also a batshit crazy hobo. Still, I have grown tired of all of you...except Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but thats just because she is such a hottie.
Smooches
CPR